was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
