hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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