i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
