Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Randomize
