I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
