Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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