I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Little spoons don't ask big questions
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
