Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
