Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
