It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize