You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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