u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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