If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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