If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
