We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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