It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
