iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
