Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it because I queefed?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
