how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
