omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
