he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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