clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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