Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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