Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
