yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
