is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize