So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
