she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
