You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
