wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
