i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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