I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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