last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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