I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hippo gnu deer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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