ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize