dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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