he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
