So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
