Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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