put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
