Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize