Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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