yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
