using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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