So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
