then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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