Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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