Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
