Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
