I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
