I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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