but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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