I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
