Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
