you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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