literally had 100 drinks last night.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
