p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
