Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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