i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
