Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
