yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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