3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
