O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
