He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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