i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
