Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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