how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
