there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you will always have a special place in my vag
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
