I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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