just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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